Monday, Feb. 14, 2005 | 1:45 A.M.
September 2002
I've been reading Animal Farm lately, maybe that is why I chose this entry to be my favorite; that and it shows my thought process very well.
---------------------------------------
---------------------------------------
I've been thinking about God lately. I've also been thinking about other people's views on God, like he doesn't exsist. And they usually say this around a time that is bad for them, or has been bad for some time. And in my head, they are thinking there is no God because God is not helping them or making their life better or easier. Which I find odd. I guess they think God should be helping them all the time and if there is a bad spot, God should fix it quickly. I could be wrong on this, though. And it is usually a tragedy, like losing a loved one, that gets them away from God. I've wondered if I would do the same, and I might, if it happened to Erin, especially if it happened soon, and not when we are older.
I do think God exsists, I do think God has a plan for us, and sets things in motion for that plan to work out. The only think I don't like is God "using" other people to impliment His plan onto you, or in this case, me. If Erin died, I would call into question why God had to take Erin's life to teach me a lesson or to put me on the right path. Could there have been another avenue to take that would do the same? It's just the fact that Erin had to die in order for me to go this direction, and I don't quite like that. Or there is no God, but does that make it any easier for any of us to believe that? For the most part, I don't believe so. Bad things happen, you say there is no God to help, bad things continue to happen even if no God exsists....so, what's the point? I don't know, I grew up believing, so it is hard for me not to believe.
I also don't quite believe in Evolution. It exsists, it has to, but to say we have come from single celled organisms that evolved into complex beings, like ourselves, the most complicated species in the known universe, I don't know. Do I believe that God created Adam and Eve from dust on a single day? Not really either. So where does that put me? Not really sure.
I really need to get my life situated, or I should say, my mind, since that is keeping me from being happy and successful, myself.
I know that whatever I do, I need to think, or express my thoughts in some way. As much as I am a shy person and do not like to express my thoughts to others, I do. I guess that is why a diary is a good thing for me. And a public one at that.
I do need to go though, I got a full work week this week, and possibly the rest of the month, close to 40 hours each week, which, to some, is not alot, but when you get bumped down to 12 hours, it's a big jump. So, g'night all.