Saturday, Oct. 12, 2002 | 9:58 P.M.
control
As I lay on my back and look up at the clouds
I see the clouds transform.
They take shape to what I want to see,
I have control.
If I was to see a ship, a ship appears.
If I want to see a bed, a bed appears.
If I want to see a girl, a girl appears.
When I look away from the clouds,
I see chaos.
I have no control,
I am helpless.
How I try to change the outside world,
But to no avail.
So I go back to my clouds,
Where I have control.
No worries,
No concern,
No pain,
No anger,
No disappointment,
No sorrow.
I have control over my life
And how I wish I lived in those clouds
Instead of here.
The outside world tries to control me,
Even the clouds, by bringing darker clouds.
I cannot change these clouds.
These clouds are clouds of sorrow and hate.
Though everyone runs when they see these clouds,
I want to stay and face these clouds
And what they bring.
If I wait, the sun will return
And the bright clouds with return.
My life will be under my control again.
But the wait is too much.
I want control now.
The dark clouds are coming.
Should I stay or go?
Should I face my fears or wait for the sun?
I stand and look up at these clouds.
I do not say anything but just stare.
Thunder comes and lightening too.
Some rain and wind.
I look around for the answer,
What should I do?
Time is running short.
I must make a decision fast.
For if I don�t,
My life could go under.
Must I stay or go?
What should I do?