Friday, Jul. 24, 2009 | 10:07 P.M.
Worst Feeling in the World
When you think about all the things that could possibly stop your day in your tracks, one of them has to be seeing your child get hurt. But the worst of this situation is when you are the one that hurt your child.
We all went to get some groceries, and my daughter wanted to run around so we let her. As she was running down the isle toward me, I decided that I was going to swing her around. So as she ran toward me, I grabbed her arm and twirled around so she made a complete circle. Right as I'm about to put her down, I felt a pop. At that moment, all I could think of was "please, don't cry". I was hoping that she would just go "oww" and be done with it. But no, she's starts crying. I pick her up and try to calm her down, but she keeps crying. Then my wife takes her and holds her and she still cries. Now, I'm getting worried. She holding her elbow, and just tears streaking down her face; all I can think is that I serious injured her arm. So, my wife decides to take her to the car and leave me with my son, who as soon as my wife leaves, cries and calls for his mommy.
So, I am in a grocery store with a crying boy asking for his mommy freaking out because I think I have injured my daughter severely, and it was all due to me playing with her. I don't think I have ever felt worse in my life for doing something to someone else.
I'm a person who is already hard on himself for making mistakes and blaming situations on himself, so you can imagine what thoughts went thru my head when my daughter is crying because of something I've done to her. I couldn't talk on the way home. Even though my wife and daughter came back into the grocery store to show that she was alright, I still couldn't forgive myself. I'm felt like a terrible father.
I really hope no one ever experiences that sensation of seeing your child in pain because of something you did. It is probably the worst feeling in the world.