Tuesday, Jun. 16, 2009 | 8:34 P.M.
What about the Dads?
It seems ironic I suppose that Father's Day is coming up, and this will be my second Father's Day (I don't count when my wife was pregnant). Seems weird that I have been a father for over 2 years now, heading for 3 this August. Seems soo much has been crammed into my life that it doesn't seem possible that time has gone soo quickly, but having kids will do that for you. I know that Father's Day takes a back seat to Mother's Day, and rightfully so on most occasions, but on this day, it is not so. And I'm not just focusing on Father's Day, I am talking about all fathers out there who do more than expected and get little in return.
I've been reading some mom blogs lately and how life as a mother/wife/woman is stressful dealing with raising a family and getting everything done in a day that needs to get down, whether it be doing chores, or cooking, or teaching their kids lessons about life. But when I read these blogs and think about what I've seen throughout my life about mothers, I get a small ache in my stomach when I see/hear the words "raise a family" and "mother". Reason why is that statement, to me, seems to say that the mother is raising the family...alone. She may have a husband, but that doesn't seem to matter or it suggests that the woman has to take care of the man plus the kids.
And it doesn't stop at the blogs or tv. We subscribe to Parents magazine, and I have read many articles and looked at all the ads, and I may, I MAY see one ad or article directed toward the dad. And if an article is devoted to the dads, it doesn't even cover the entire page. If this is the view of Parents magazine that only the mothers are the "parents", then why call it "Parents"? Why not call it "Mothers" or "Moms" or "The Real Parent". It's this and seeing TV shows that show the dad as being an complete idiot and the woman being the voice of reason and intelligence. I know that women have gotten the short end of the stick for many a years, but should that come at the short-fall of the man?
Maybe I am asking too much...I don't know. It just seems that mothers get all the recognition of the parenting unless they are not there or just terrible.
Until recently, my wife was a training store manager for a retail company. She worked most weekends and week nights. And there were times when she was gone for 2-4 days, so I left alone to take care of 2 children under the age of 3 (they are 18 months apart, by the way). So there would be times during the week where my wife saw them maybe two hours. So I would get up and get the kids dressed and breakfast ready (my wife would help, of course), then I would take the kids to daycare, go to work, pick them up, go home and get dinner ready, yell at them to eat, play with them, get them in the bath, brush their teeth, put them in pj's, read to them, put them to bed, and then use the rest of my time before my wife got home to clean up the messes that were created, sleep and repeat.
I've been doing this process since my boy was 3 months old, so I guess about a year now. It has taken its toll on me, and not just with the stress, but the fact that now I cannot relax unless the house the clean, and our house is never clean.
*If if feels like I am jumping around and do not have a solid topic, it's because I thought about this in the morning, and I always lose my enthusiasm when time passes*
Just reading about which mother has the harder time got me all flustered. I guess I just want the recognition that I as a father tries just as hard as any mother to make sure my kids are healthy and safe.