Monday, Nov. 29, 2004 | 10:24 P.M.
Fading away
I really have no idea how long this entry is going to be, having many things pull at me, or actually, pulling me away from the computer.
One being my lovely wife, Erin, who keeps asking me, or rather, telling me to come to bed, in a very sleepy way too. About every 5 minutes she is doing this for the past 15 minutes. As you can see, it is not late at all, barely 10:30 PM, and I am really not the tired at the moment.
Another may be the fact that I don't want to get into any kind of monologue right now about my life. Yes, I did quit my job at the VW dealership. Did that about the middle of this month. I felt like it wasn't for me. I wasn't happy there, and after a while, didn't have the drive to go any further. So to compensate for this loss of income, I am now working at Things Remembered again, but in two stores this time. One in Plano and one in Dallas.
I think I set my self up for failure. Not necessarily failure, but not living up to my potential, which to some, is failure. Also doesn't help that I haven't the slightest idea what I was to do with my life at the moment. But, I suppose in a small way, it doesn't matter what I want to do, or it shouldn't matter, just get a job and be happy with it.
And lastly, I think I may actually be moving on from this diary. As you may or may not have noticed, my updating as been, well, lacking of late. This may be a sign that I am moving on. I used to write poetry, you know. You might have read some of them, but now, I don't. I don't have the desire to anymore. Maybe that is good, maybe that is bad. I don't know right now.
What I do know, only slightly, that I am starting to see my life and the way I act a bit differently now, perhaps more clearly. A book I've been reading as been helping me. I believe it is called "Thoughts without a Thinker" - about the mixing between Zen Buddhism and Psychoanalysis. Quenching my thrist for human analysis as well as my desire for peace in eastern philosophy.
Well, I believe that is enough for now. I make no promises here about updating except a promise to not make a promise about updating. You see, it is already starting to take ahold of me.