Monday, Mar. 18, 2002 | 2:17 A.M.
i dunno
hmm....really don't know what to write about right now.
strange, when i was at school, i was writing two, maybe three a day. and i was always ready to write. now that i am home, i'm brain-dead. guess it is all that scholastic environment i must be present to. i dunno....just weird
perhaps it is that i have too many thoughts, emotions, or whatever that i don't know where to start....or don't want to start. that has been my deal lately, not wanting to start something. whether it is this thing or with people, i don't want to get into detail....maybe it is b/c i am afraid i will get mad and yell and stuff. i dunno...
i see that i have changed alot since i came to hendrix. i'm glad, though some of you may not be...or happy of the results...or ways i am going about it...or just plain shocked....i dunno, but i am happy with them, b/c i can see through some people, how i have changed, and that's good.
i dunno how to feel about some people in my life right now....three people for that matter...some are more, how should i say, managable than others. i want to be their friend, but i don't know if i am going about it the right way. should i talk, should i spend more time...less time, should i be affectionate, if so, how much...am i being too much, not enough....how much should i open up, how much should i be me around them, how much should i be open....and do i want them in my life....it's crazy. i don't want them to be mad at me, but at the same time, i need to figure things out. i don't like acting out on my guts or instinct or whatever you want to call it...it has gotten me in trouble or has complicated things...so i like to think things through....okay, maybe i think too much, but still, i like to think.
i guess i should actually do some work tomorrow...like real work...around the house...or read some...not sleep all day. ooo, and i am getting my digital camera tomorrow! yay!!! that should be fun. be afraid....be very afraid....
i think i will go now...don't know what else to talk about. well, i bet i could, but don't know if i want to get into detail about everything. i just stayed home today pretty much. rented clerks uncensored....i love that stuff.
guess i'll start fun reading, learning reading, and school reading tomorrow. should be a nice change...reading b/c i want to....how about that. the cat is in my way right now....kasey is her name...she's standing infront of the monitor sniffing around....what does she want.....there, she moved...now there is hair everywhere.
well, on that note, i shall go. glad people everywhere are having a fulfilling break.
really guys, tell me if you are going to be online, i would love to talk to you.....*sigh*
o...k....kasey's staring at me, that means i must go.
ta ta for now