Sunday, Aug. 20, 2006 | 11:58 A.M.
The Last Entries: Part 4
We start this entry when I was 12 years old. My mom's health was questionable. She was sick alot and had fainting spells. No one really knew what was wrong. It was summer and I was a church camp for some reason. My mom picked me up and we were heading to the grocery store. She said she was feeling light-headed, and I kept asking her what does light-headed mean? I didn't understand how your head could feel light? I kept asking her until she got mad and told me to quit asking her; she had a headache. I stopped asking and we went into the grocery store. Hudson's actually. I was pushing the cart around and she was walking in front of me. I was looking at the ketchup wondering if we needed some ketchup when I feel a bump. I look up and I see my mom fall in front of me. She is lying still on the floor of the grocery store. Not moving. I run over to her and just stare. I don't know what was running through my mind at the time, execpt "what have I done?". A woman finally came over to me, grabbed me, and told me to get hold of an ambulance. I run into the managers office and they call an ambulance. I go to call my dad, but remember he is out of town. Then I go and call my sister, and she is at school.
So I am standing here with no dad and sister to tell what happened. I go back to my mom and wait. Ambulance came by and got her to the hospital. I've never fully forgiven myself for this incident.
Later on in the year, my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. I went to most of her kemotherapy. I guess I felt like I couldn't leave her for some reason. Of course, she was tired alot, and I decided not to participate in many summer programs so I could stay home and make sure she was ok.
When I was 14, my mom had a stroke. I don't remember where I was. I think at school because the story I remember being told was my mom called my dad because she wasn't feeling well and after she dialed she passed out. My dad could hear that it was her saying "help" so he called an ambulance and rushed to her. I was also told later that she died. I don't know how long she was flat-lined but one of our dr. friends got her to start breathing and got a regular pulse. She was in ICU for some time. I remember seeing her and not being able to talk. She also couldn't talk. Her right side was pretty much paralyzed. After she got out, she had to go to physical therapy in order for her to walk. My sister was about to graduate college and my mom wanted to walk. The doctors didn't think she would walk again, but she was determined to do so. Unfortunately, she wasn't able to walk by herself because of her being tired. And probably because of her health, I was able to drive a car when I was 14; at least with a licensed adult in the car, which was usually my mom. She would sit and rest while I drove her around and got groceries and ran errands.
I also got in trouble at school alot during this time. It started in 5th grade. I was falling behind on homework and not making the grades I should make - so say the teachers. The teacher that was on my case all the time was Mrs. Ledbetter. She was my accelerated english teacher. I didn't like her at all. She like to belittle kids. I remember that I got reading glasses because most thought my falling grades were do to me not able to see the words. Well, I come into glass with my new glasses and she says something like "Well, I hope now with your new glasses you can make the grade". I guess my mom coming into meeting and yelling at her didn't help my cause much.
When I got to Jr. High, I was pretty involved in school with choir and football. Getting good grades in school and such. There really isn't much to say about Jr. High or my years in this time.
When I return, I'll talk about my high school years.