Saturday, Mar. 01, 2003 | 4:45 P.M.
I'm still a fuckup - just more disgusting
I am a disgusting human being.
I'm going to take a shower to clean the filth that is me.
Nothing I can do or say can ever make up for what I did.
I don't even want to go out in the world and face the people that saw me like that.
I am pitiable, I am disgusting.
I'm not worthy right now of anything happy - like compassion or forgiveness.
I'm going over later to clean up what I did. Even if I wrote a card, gave flowers, and money, it would not make up what I did. Even if I cleaned it all up, it still wouldn't make up for it.
There is nothing, but me - disgusting, fowl, and wretched.