Tuesday, Apr. 09, 2002 | 1:09 A.M.
leap ahead to sleep
well, that extra hour killed me today. just kept on sleeping. *sigh* yeah, that happens.
i really don't have much to say right now. kinda in a lull of thoughtlessness. did homework tonight!! wow, that's something huh.
played smash today...haven't played that game in a long while. felt aright...not an entired group was there, but when it did, it was fun.
then went bowling. did alright, doing diff. things each time i go. thought about joining a bowling league..hey, i get a free ball out of it. helped O look at next year scheduling.
i need to get around and ask people to write me a letter or reference. thinking about doing that paid internship next year. sounds interesting. need to write my letter of intent to live off-campus next year also. and i need to write my exam that is due monday. lots of writing for me up ahead. i also need to find time tomorrow to go home and see my parents again. and i need to find a job for this summer. i want to make some money for once. wonder if i did that summer camp thingy will pay me? mmm...need to find that out.
one quick little thought....you know, i've heard many times and i am sure some of you have said this, "i will not change for anyone." i have been pondering this concept for some time. i know i have always been the one who would change for people to like me. i dont' do it or try to do it much anymore, though i catch myself doing it unconsciously. i am realizing that you shouldn't change for anyone, but at the same time, you should change...period. you cannot stay the same person you are now for reasons...times change, you need to change with the times. outgrow so to speak your old side, shed it, for a newer, wiser you. if you do not change, the people around you will soon get tired and bored of you since all your movement will be predictable. in all this, i am not by far saying that this change is short or can happen with a quick realization or fix. no no no no no and no. you are always changing or change is always pending. maybe you don't realize it now or at that time, but you will and must adjust. i know i am using you alot, but i am very much talking about myself in this. also, don't change for someone else b/c, at least i feel, they will be looking for it. and if you make a mistake, then you haven't changed. you don't just change...poof...hey i'm changed...not like sadaam and satan....also, don't expect someone to change for you or to change like that. and if they do, don't hold it against them. i mean, they might be trying and hell, we all make fucking mistakes, so don't act like you are better than the rest b/c that person lied and didn't change. b/c you could....*pphhhtt*
sorry for that....just sometimes i get mad when i hear certain things....and for me, the other person was me for the most part. so it was me facing me. not fun by far.
well, i think i have vented enough for tonight. like O has done before, let me know in some way if through diary or message or telling me if you do read this diary. i'm not going to change what i say b/c certain people read it. if you couldn't tell, i can be very ambiguous as to who and what i am talking about. but i like to knwo that i do have buddy's on my list that those people do read my diary. that's all.
mmm...have a great week and oh yeah, who wants denny's tomorrow night? let me know! laters!