Monday, Mar. 04, 2002 | 11:53 P.M.
yeah, so.....i'm confused
yeah, so i'm confused....
like you haven't been before??
you've never knew what you wanted to do, or be, or what you wanted to do next, or where you wanted to go, or whether it would be burgers or tacos???
well, i'm going through that right now, i'm confused....
i'm confused as to what i want...
i don't want a serious relationship right now...maybe not anytime soon either
i do want a companion of some sorts...one that will be there when i need to talk, cuddle, or just lay and relax.
but, you know what, i am trying damnit.
and what i need to realize, that i have to find out by myself, not with anyone helping me or pushing me. maybe just someone to hear me, but not direct me.
i need to have confidence in myself to figure things out. not to let blind faith or this is working right now run my life.
is it a crime that i dont' know what i want....is it a crime that i like talking to her???
is it a crime that i like being and talking to pi???
can't i just talk with people without meaning and like it???
why must meaning get involved....just b/c they like me, i can't talk to them.
i want to do what I want to do, okay?
damnit, i am trying to figure out what is best for me. if you know so much, then why dont' you run my life?
i need to get some things straight in my head, figure out what i am really feeling, how to control emotions, and my life ultimately.
i think meditation will help me, or yoga...something that will focus my energy and make me become aware of myself and my surroundings.
well, this is my insight. if you dont' like it, tough. these are my thoughts, okay?
i guess it is time for me to really go to bed, but guess what.....i'm not tired!!!
grrr...help me insomnia girl
confused, but trying
i'm really trying, okay.....